I received Angel when I was three months old at my Baptism. She has been an object of constancy throughout my child-hood and adult life. I associate them with Childlikeness and the religious roots from which I was brought up. Growing up Christian, for me, did not exclude the possibility of queerness, as my Christian and choir member mum is queer herself. However, my leaving the church cannot be untied from my proceeding ability to discover more of myself into how queerness resonated in me.

Angel has had their own journey, from leaving my child-hood home to university, she became part of other people’s perceptions, which included being named Angelos by some friends. Despite being an inanimate bear, they embody thoughts and feelings that I have carried throughout my own life. Her pronouns are she/they which feels like a little joke but perhaps carry a more solid ground that extends to my own identity.

They have two bracelets, one I made when I was 6. The other was given to me by my child minister at Sunday School, around the same age. I think these accessories show the dichotomy between my religious roots that I maintain empathy for, and the pull that I have always felt towards creativity and freedom that echo into my queerness.

Queerness to me is an unanswered journey but having the word itself provides a broad space for my identity to float around not needing to be defined. Whereas, growing up in the Church, I felt like I was being squeezed into a mould of expectation that never and would never sit right. So, Angelos represents where I come from and the possibility of endless possibilities of who I might and will become.